A Day in the Life of a WAHM with a 14-Month-Old

I recently wrote about a surprising discovery in my one-year-and-counting of being a work-at-home mom (WAHM): It got easier with time. But what do I actually do all day? How do I fit in caring for an almost 15-month-old toddler and working on my own business? It's not easy! It takes a lot of juggling. I still haven't figured out how to do everything I want to do. But, I do the best I can, and I learn along the way.

Here's how today went:

8:30 AM

I wake up. Usually I like to wake up closer to 7:30, but Josephine has been sleeping very poorly since I increased my efforts to wean her. So with multiple middle-of-the-night wake-ups, I sleep in. I read email and news on my phone from bed.

8:45 AM

Josephine, cuddled up next to me, wakes up. I'd prefer not to co-sleep with her at this age, but with her inability to stay asleep for long at night these days, I'd rather hold her when she wakes in the middle of the night. I breastfeed her for a short while in bed. I'm in the process of weaning her and have her down to two feedings per day.

8:45 – 9:15 AM

I change her diaper and clothes, do my morning routine, and all that jazz. Josephine is (temporarily?) not fond of baths, so lately she has been showering with me, though not every day.

9:15 AM – 10:00 AM

I relocate to the living room, the only truly baby-proof area of the house. This area also doubles as my home office. I work on the sofa with my laptop. I put Netflix cartoons on and let Josephine run around and play with her toys. I continually feed her snacks throughout the day: banana, pretzels, Ritz crackers, Goldfish crackers, raisins, popcorn, baby carrots, cereal, whatever keeps her happy. I also make sure multiple sippy cups are full of water. If at any point she wants me, I stop what I'm doing and spend some time with her. I read aloud to her daily, usually whatever I'm reading such as daily scripture or an article related to my industry, sometimes one of her books.

10:00 AM – 10:25 AM

I leave Josephine alone to enjoy her toys and cartoons. I go to a quieter area of the house to take a 25 minute business call with a new client. I prepare some newly cleaned cloth diapers while I'm on the phone.

10:25 – 10:40 AM

I return to the living room to work and hang out with Josephine, who's happily watching her cartoons, playing with her toys, and eating her snacks.

10:40 – 10:50 AM

I take a call from a reporter to be interviewed for an article. This isn't commonly part of my day, so I'm excited. Josephine doesn't even seem to notice I've left the room again.

10:50 – 11:10 AM

I return to the living room and work.

11:10 – 11:30 AM

My husband is home sick today. He has been alternatively napping and watching Josephine or doing his own thing. He suggests we go out to our local fast food restaurant for lunch. I put make-up on, change Josephine's diaper, and get us both ready for the cold outdoors. While waiting for my husband to get ready, I follow Josephine around the house, cleaning up after her as she goes.

11:30 AM – 12:00 PM

Usually I eat lunch at home, but since my husband wants to go out, we go out. I follow Josephine around the restaurant making sure she doesn't get into anything, stopping her when she tries to grab someone else's food off their table. We laugh as Josephine eats her chicken nuggets and dips her straw in ketchup. We didn't make too much of a mess this time out; just a few pieces of chicken nuggets and fries under her highchair. I let her run around some more while my husband is in the bathroom before we leave to go home.

12:00 – 2:00 PM

I work. Josephine plays and eats her snacks. I'm surprised she hasn't had a nap yet.

2:00-ish – 3:10 PM

Josephine finally falls asleep at some point. These days, she takes either one or two naps, depending on how sleepy she is. I take this opportunity to work in my home lab (where she's not allowed). I don't get as much done as I'd like before I hear her waking up.

3:10 – 6:30 PM

On nice days, I'd take Josephine out to the community tennis court with me to hit balls around sometime in the late afternoon. But this week is exceptionally cold, so I'm temporarily hibernating. Instead, I work. Also, my husband can't find his keys, so we search the whole house for them. We finally find them inside the living room TV subwoofer. Toddlers! While we have the couches temporarily moved, we take the opportunity to vacuum the floor.

6:30 PM

I pause for dinner: left-over pulled pork and mashed potatoes from yesterday's big meal. I give Josephine smaller portions of whatever I eat.

6:30 – 10:00 PM

Family time. I put the laptop away (for the most part). My husband and I hang out, chat, play with Josephine, and watch anything but cartoons. Somewhere in this time I clean up after dinner, put clean dishes from the dishwasher away, and run another load of dishes. Josephine runs around the house as I clean the kitchen. At some point later in the night, I breastfeed Josephine. Husband usually starts his bedtime preparations around 9:00, but he has already decided to take tomorrow off too, so he stays up until 10:00.

10:00 – 10:30 PM

Josephine watches cartoons and plays with toys for a little while, then cuddles up on the sofa with me and falls asleep. She usually falls asleep between 10:30 and 11:30, but because she only had one nap today, she tired early.

10:30 PM – 2:45 AM

I watch my own TV shows, browse the internet, and work. This is the best time to work! So peaceful. Usually I go to bed between 12:30 – 1:30 AM, but tonight I was inspired to write. Josephine has been sleeping poorly lately (since I stopped breastfeeding on demand in the middle of the night) so she wakes up approximately every-other-hour for a few seconds at a time. As long as she's cuddled with me, she goes right back to sleep. Sometimes. Last night she screamed for several minutes multiple times throughout the night, so I'm sort of dreading how the rest of this night will go.

There you have it, and fairly typical work-at-home-with-toddler day. It's hard to calculate how many hours I actually work because I pause very frequently to attend to my child or take care of something around the house. Occasionally, I'll take Josephine out for a couple of hours in the middle of the day to attend a playgroup. She's still too young to take to library story-time and other activities that require her to sit still. Occasionally I'll go out and my husband will watch her. He's staying home tomorrow, so I have plans to meet a colleague for a lunch meeting. Generally, our schedule is very flexible and fluid, just the way we like it.

One Year of Being a Work-At-Home Mom WAHM

I've been a work-at-home mom (WAHM) for over a year now (approximately 14 months!). When I began, I didn't know if I could do it. Honestly, I doubted I could. I searched the internet for personal stories and blogs of professional women who carried on their careers while working from home caring for a child. I found very few examples. That was my main motivation for starting this blog.

My biggest surprise: being a professional WAHM became a lot easier as time went on! I thought it would get harder. I was convinced that I'd only be able to pull off being a WAHM for a little while, but then I'd need to hire part-time childcare. I was wrong. I have yet to need to leave my child in the care of anyone aside from my husband while I work. In fact, next week will be the first time I'll need to drop her off somewhere for a couple of hours while I attend a breakfast meeting.

The newborn days were a difficult adjustment as a new mom. But even in the hospital a few hours after birth, I was catching up with industry news on my phone. Because the little one was so tiny and content to cluster-feed on me, I found it easy to balance my arms on a pillow and type away on my laptop while she fed or slept on my chest and lap. I even took her to an industry networking event early in her life when she was happy to stay wrapped to me, feeding or sleeping away while I networked.

Being a WAHM doesn't mean I was always at home. When she was 5 weeks old, my husband watched her while I attended a local two-day workshop. A couple months later, I left the baby with my husband and attended a two-day event out of town overnight. A few months after that, I took the baby with me to attend a multi-day conference out-of-state. If my husband couldn't watch the baby for in-person business meetings, I'd take her with me. She came with me for two university campus visits, a local conference, and a few business dinners.

My WAHM life transitioned when she became mobile. Even with babyproofing, I worried that she'd harm herself, go after the cats and get scratched, or get into something I hadn't even thought of. But with proper planning and experience, those fears went away. Except for the cats. It took her a long while to learn not to pull cat tails.

Once she learned how to play independently, around the same time she started taking her first steps, WAHM life eased considerably. She became more aware of her toys and how to use them. She became fascinated by everything and less reliant on me to entertain her. She discovered her love of rattles and music-making. She practiced her steps. She enjoyed boxes. As long as I was in the same room with her, I could work for hours with few interruptions. She kept herself busy.

Sometime around her first birthday, she started getting really into movies and TV programs. Curious George was her first love. I could put any of the Curious George movies on and she would watch them in awe. She'll watch TV on and off all day long, while playing with toys and wandering around the living room. Netflix in particular has given me the freedom to work all day at home and be very productive as shows play one episode after another. I can even leave the room for up to an hour to take a business call and know that she'll be just fine when I return – a luxury I didn't have previously!

But even to this day, my most productive time is when the toddler is asleep. I particularly love nighttime, from around 10 PM to 1 AM, when the house is asleep, I'm not getting emails, and I can work uninterrupted. Naptimes are similarly good times to work, but my daughter is not a long napper. With as independent as she is now, it almost doesn't matter whether she's napping or awake. With enough food, entertainment, and love, she's a happy little girl content to play mostly by herself day in and day out.

I primarily work from the living room couch where it's easiest to watch my daughter and where I'm most comfortable. Some people really need an office space with a desk to feel productive, but I'm not like that. I can work from pretty much anywhere. I've worked from bed when I've been sick. I've even taken business calls from the tennis court while out hitting balls with my little girl chasing after them.

I've also seen advice advocating business hours while working from home. I don't find that necessarily, either. I love the flexibility of being my own boss on my own schedule. I take the time during the middle of the day for personal appointments, playdates, and the occasional lunch out with my husband. I like the blend my personal life during traditional business hours, so it's natural for me to blend my professional life during traditional personal hours. I'm a night owl, so evening work sessions are convenient for me. The only time I cut myself off is during family time: meals, outings, or even just hanging out as a family at home. Because I love my career, I don't mind working on projects during the weekend if I have the time and motivation.

One piece of advice I do follow is to dress properly every day. I always make sure I shower every morning, even if it's late morning. I may not wear a bra at home, but I'll always be in some clothing I could answer the door wearing. I try to wear a little make-up every day, though I don't always succeed. I may work from my sofa, but I don't lounge around in pajamas all day.

Working from home isn't for everyone. Even before I was married, I knew that I worked very well at home. Before I created my own company, I worked for a company that rarely required me to go into the office. Working from home without and with a kid is very different, but because I was successful with the former, I hoped I would be successful with the latter. And so far, I have been.

Situations change. My daughter is a very easy child. Perhaps she'll become more needy as she grows, more talkative and demanding, or develop a medical condition that requires more of my attention. Perhaps adding a new infant in the mix will make things much more difficult. Perhaps I'll land a client that requires me to leave the house more often. But for right now, this is working for me and my family. And I'm grateful.

Trapped! When Being a WAHM is Overwhelming

Not everyone is so fortunate to find a career they love. Long before I ever met my husband, I fell in love with and began studying and working in my industry. I knew that I would never give it up, even after having kids.

When my baby was born in December, I was surprised at how much I loved being home with her. My previous position ended right before she was born, so I took a natural pause in my career. But not for long! By the end of January, I formed my own consulting company and set out to find clients.

In July, I took on my main client. It's not strictly a full-time job, nor is it hourly. I'm an independent contractor paid a flat fee per month for services. The whole company is made up of independent contractors based in home offices around the world. Many of them are also parents who work while caring for their children. It seemed to be a perfect fit!

I was surprised and honored to be assigned leader on my first project immediately. As most projects go, it started out slow as I climbed the learning curve of a new job and a new project. Hours aren't clocked and my boss is in a time zone six hours ahead of me, so I did my work in my spare time.

It just so happened that I was starting a new job during a tumultuous time in my life. Coincidentally, my husband also got a new job that required us to move. In a very short period of time, we had to prepare our house for sale, move our belongings and pets, live in a hotel, sell our house, and buy a new house, and move in. Those life events became a full-time job, necessitating my contracted job be pushed aside to do whenever I could.

Finally, we moved into our new home. Everything was in boxes. We weren't settled at all. But I had a deadline. My job wanted me to complete my report draft within a week of moving into our new home! Of course, it wasn't their fault I was moving. They set the date months prior. But circumstances arose to make my life completely chaotic right near a deadline.

I was too busy to keep track of how many hours I worked. I barely unpacked the essentials to live in my new home. At times, I was too busy to even shower for the day. I worked days, evenings, nights, weekends, and the Labor Day holiday. I wished I had childcare but was too busy to really look into it. When I finally took the time to reach out to a neighborhood in-home childcare, she was booked. At that time, being a work-at-home mom really wasn't working for me.

I relied heavily on my baby learning independent play in the baby-safe playroom while I worked during the days. In the evenings, I relied on my husband to watch her for hours at a time in the evenings and weekends. I worked late into the night when both were asleep. The work wasn't good enough for my boss so the deadline kept getting pushed back as they demanded more and more content from me. For 3 weeks I worked myself into exhaustion. I felt like a poor employee, a poor mother, and a poor wife.

Finally, it was over. I breathed a sigh of relief, took half a day off, and tried to pick up the pieces. I was so behind on everything (and still so very behind on email) that it was hard to know where to begin. But at least I could enjoy life again. At least I could pay attention to my child again. At least I could try to settle into a better WAHM lifestyle.

Unfortunately, the chaos is only on pause. My husband's career is moving us again. On Friday and Saturday, I'll drive 9 hours with the baby to meet with my husband who is driving down today. We'll stay in a temporary apartment until we find a new home. Two more moves and another house hunt. I'm not looking forward to being uprooted again.

As if that wasn't enough, I was assigned a new project to lead at work. They gave me two days to catch my breath, and then popped my work-life balance bubble. I've since convinced them to change the deadline from December to January, but the work won't be any less.

I'm slowly admitting to myself that this isn't the WAHM-friendly job I was lead to believe. Twice this week I've been frustrated to tears with poor management and unrealistic expectations. But with my husband's career unsettled at the moment and some big debts to pay off, I'll stick with this contract as long as I can for the income it provides. I need to set better boundaries and not allow work to take over my life as it did. 

Meanwhile, I've resolved to continue my side business with whatever time I can squeeze. Being my own boss, doing work I love, pursuing my dream – that's what I envisioned when I decided to become an independent consultant. I have so many big ideas and dreams. I need to make the time to make them happen, or they never will. If I can make enough in my "side" business to be my own boss, it would be ideal.

In the future, I resolve to:

• Work more consistently, even when tasks seem lax.
• Take "baby breaks" when I get stressed from work to keep perspective.
• Hire part-time childcare when work gets tough.
• Keep my working hours to half-time (4 hours per day) unless near a deadline.
• Work at night when the baby is asleep, but not too late.
• Ask for help when I need it.

With these guidelines, hopefully I won't repeat the same stressful mistakes. Here's to balancing my WAHM life!

Work at Home Mom: Reaching for the Stars, Learning how to Swim

My little girl at 7 months

When I accepted an offer to begin work at the same time we’d be packing up our house to move for my husband’s new job multiple states away, I knew I was crazy. What was I thinking!? Not that I had much choice – my start date was already delayed by my new boss’s vacation and my life isn’t going to calm down any time soon. So, full speed ahead!

I love my career. I spent 11 years studying in higher education and held multiple volunteer and lower-level jobs to get to where I am now: a mid-level expert-in-training in my industry. Since January, I had been staying at home with my baby, working from home and occasionally elsewhere on small tasks and minor gigs. I started my own consulting business and earned a little bit of money, enough to travel for business trips and conferences, but not enough to pay myself salary. I kept searching for the right client that would land me a major paycheck. Finally, I found one. I’m reaching for the stars, which is a fitting analogy if you know I work in the space industry.

The first two weeks of being a for-real WAHM felt like I was drowning in responsibilities. I’d splash and kick, gasping for air at the surface, treading water with all my might, feeling as though I could go under at any moment. The thought did cross my mind once, briefly, that maybe this was a bad idea and I should quit. But I didn’t. I kept on swimming, as our fish friend would say.

It didn’t help that the baby’s worst day since her early newborn weeks was my first day of work. I kicked off that Monday morning with back-to-back phone meetings, during which she was thankfully quiet. Then she became a miserable monster and stayed unhappy for the rest of the day. I got little done. I thought, maybe this is teething for real, then dismissed my speculation. A couple days later, I felt the sharp edges of a bottom tooth popping through. It wasn’t all in my head after all.

Getting little done continued to be a theme. I began to question whether I really could be a stay-at-home mom and work a real job that required my focus and dedication. But to be honest, my circumstances skewed my perspective. That first week, I spent far more time on the phone and in meetings with various people who were to help me prepare our home for sale, sell our home, move our belongings, house us temporarily, and help us find and finance a new home. I felt like both a poor mother and a poor employee as I spent hours and hours in personal logistics planning.

The baby, now 7 months old, is developing separation anxiety. She could be well-rested, well-fed, and surrounded by toys, but still throw a fit if I’m not holding her when she wants to be held or if I leave the room and don’t allow her to follow me. But a baby cooing or fussing into the earpiece is not a professional sound over a business call. Twice I placed her safely among her toys in the living room, then shut myself in my bedroom closet (two layers of separation!) in order to muffle her screams to make a call. It felt undignified to conduct business on the floor of my closet. I’ll have to develop a better solution.

After a minor break-down last week, I decided to step back and regroup. I’m only human. I put so much pressure on being an excellent new employee, I was placing unrealistic expectations on myself. I’m sure that my new bosses 1) didn’t expect a brand newcomer to excel at the job immediately, and 2) understood that moving is stressful and would cut me some slack. I spent the beginning of week #2 focusing on what I could do in the moment and not getting too worked up over feeling behind.

Until I actually was behind. Wednesday came to a close and I had barely worked all week. Frantically, I worked extra hard these past two days, catching up. I woke up early Thursday morning, stayed up late Thursday night, and woke up early Friday. And do you know what? I was just fine. I accomplished what I needed to accomplish. No one cared that I hadn’t fully finished one of my tasks yet, no one but me. I called it quits Friday afternoon with a task still open, and the world didn’t end.

You might recall from my previous entry that I actually scored two new jobs, one major and one minor. I had to put the minor gig on hold. I’m at my capacity at the moment. Until I’m out of this house (one more week!), I can’t take on anything else. But that job isn’t urgent and the big boss still hasn’t signed my contract yet for an “official” start, so I feel justified in delaying.

My husband and I have talked about hiring help once we move. In his current position, he can occasionally work from home. When he’s here and not in a meeting, we share child caring duties. I leaned on him Thursday and Friday while I worked hard to catch up. But when he begins his new job in two weeks, he’ll be in the office every day. I may hire a part-time nanny or babysitter to help lessen my load. I’ll play that decision by ear.

I am so fortunate – I love my job. I’m able to do satisfying work in a field I’m passionate about. My company is very family-friendly, which is what drew me to the position. It’s a small company with everyone working from home offices around the globe, some of which are also work-at-home parents. It’s a friendly, supportive atmosphere. I feel so very grateful to be able to stay home with my little girl and participate in my chosen career!

Beyond Full-Time Work-At-Home Mom

I may be a bit in over my head. I have this tendency to take on more than I can realistically handle and then watch with dismay as I allow balls to drop. Now that I'm a mom, and a stay-at-home mom at that, I'm particularly aware of how much time it takes to care for a baby day and night. Dedicated time to focus on work is in short supply.

I expressed my anxieties in my previous blog entry considering taking a full-time work-from-home position. Great news - I got the job! And I accepted it. But I also misunderstood the position. I'll be an independent contractor, not a full-time employee. Nowhere in my contract does it specify how many hours per week I'm expected to work. I'll be paid a set amount of compensation per month to do the work assigned to me, however many hours that takes.

Before beginning the job, it's difficult to know how many hours of actual work will be involved. In my previous two “full-time” career positions, neither came close to needing 40 hours of work per week. Actual work was usually a few hours per day, plus maybe a meeting or two. On an average week, I would say that 10 to 20 hours of work was required of me. The rest of the time, I was “on call” in my office or at home, and could work on other things. But I can't predict whether this new position will be the same.

Surprise - great news - I accepted another new job yesterday! Two new jobs! So now I'm “beyond full-time,” in a sense. I have a major contract that will be my primary position, and I have a minor contract that will be a side job. The new gig will pay commission on funds I bring in. My hours and schedule are my own to work out.

Within the next two weeks, I'll be starting not one, but two new jobs. My six-month-old has become a fast crawler, is able to stand, and is almost ready to start cruising. She can spend more time in independent play, but she requires more careful watching. I'm keeping my childcare options open. If need be, I'll hire an occasional or regular daytime babysitter or nanny, or I'll look into part-time daycare options. I'd love to be able to handle all motherhood and career responsibilities simultaneously, but that may not be realistic.

My favorite part of this extra income: I get to hire cleaning help! I don't know what it says about me that a cleaning service is at the very top of my “to buy if we have the money” list. I've been wanting a regular housecleaner since before the baby was born. Returning to a dual-income family means we can afford it. How frequently outside help will come is still to be decided. Outside help will lessen the burden on me to clean during the day or in my limited spare time.

An unexpected lifestyle change has been the need for me to begin sleep training the baby. Co-sleeping and bed-sharing saved me so much for the first six months of my daughter's life. I was able to more or less “sleep through” the night every night because the baby would barely wake me when she needed to nurse. Having her right there next to me was a sanity saver. I never felt like a stereotypical sleep deprived mom of an infant.

However, the baby no longer sleeps as long and as well as she used to. I got more uninterrupted sleep with her as a newborn than I do now with her at six months old. I feel like I'm tossing and turning every 30 minutes to nurse her or switch her to the other breast. I get so exhausted that I no longer remember to return her to her crib in the night. I wake up in the morning with her next to me, tired, not even remembering that I had picked her up. Co-sleeping is no longer working for me.

Sunday night, I moved her crib to the nursery and set up the baby monitor. For three nights so far, I've attempted sleep training. I allow for middle-of-the-night feeding because my baby is so small, but I return her to her crib after 10 to 15 minutes. Results have been mixed these past three nights. I'll write a dedicated sleep training update when it's all sorted out.

On top of my own life, my husband's path is still open. He may or may not get a job offer that would require us to move across the country in the next month or two. In addition to starting two new jobs, I may also be planning a move, selling our house, and buying a new one. I really don't know how I'm going to balance those responsibilities, if it happens.

In the times of my life when I think I may have to take on more than I can handle, I give it to God. I trust that it will all happen as it's meant to, and that I'm strong enough to make it through. All in all, these are great problems to have, and I'm very grateful.

This is how I wrote this blog entry. Thankfully, her nap lasted long enough.

The Full-Time Question

In my introductory post, I explained how I came to be an accidental work-at-home mom, part time. I haven’t worked full-time since my baby was born. And if I’m honest, I haven’t worked full-time in maybe a year because there’s not much going on in a company going out of business.

Going from working part-time at home pre-baby to working part-time at home post-baby was easy. I learned how to free my hands enough use my computer while she nursed or slept on me. I became decent at one-handed typing. I started work-at-home momming gradually when she was just a few days old. I was full-swing into when I attended a local workshop when she was five weeks old. We've been rocking it ever since.

Sleeping baby position #1 as I wrote this blog entry.

For me, being a part-time work-from-home mom has been easy (so far). I work projects of interest on my laptop from my living room or back porch while the baby sleeps, nurses, or plays. I’m interrupted constantly and therefore it takes longer to accomplish tasks, but breaks aren’t a bad thing.

I pick and choose which projects I want to get involved with. Some tasks have deadlines and are prioritized. Others are “whenever I feel like it,” such as my professional blog, my book writing, and my reports.

But one thing I am not is an 8-hour-per-day working mom. I couldn’t tell you how much of my day is spent on business. I multi-task and switch things up constantly: email, news, social media, projects, breastfeed, play with baby, change diapers, clean house, prepare food, take care of errands, take care of myself, go to business-related events, and whatever else falls into my lap.

Sleeping baby position #2 as I wrote this blog entry.

Work-life integration is the new buzzphrase and I have it down solid! I am one seamless work-life integrator. But I don’t work 40 hours per week, probably not even half that. I don’t work much right now. But I have excellent work-life satisfaction!

I’m a little nervous that I’m a finalist for a full-time work-from-home position. In a surprising twist, I’m more nervous about getting the job than I am about not getting it! Being rejected means status quo, my life remains the same. I can continue to leisurely work-from-home part-time on whatever projects I choose.

Taking the job means juggling everything around and needing to find solid working hours during the day with many more deadlines and phone meetings. It’s always an unknown whether the baby will remain quiet while I’m on the phone. Probably not.

Position #3 while writing this blog entry - playing! She's not always quiet.

My little girl is a few days shy of 6 months old. Since she refuses to take a bottle, she has been attached to me day and night, attending work-related events with me, even attending an out-of-state conference with me. The thought of putting her in (very expensive) daycare sounds undesirable and potentially unfeasible until she’s older. But the option exists if there’s no better alternative.

Even with full-time work, I think I’d still be able to watch her at home most of the time. I’m considering an occasional nanny or daytime babysitter, someone who could watch her for a couple hours per day or a few hours per week, depending on my needs. Or, maybe I’ll surprise myself and actually be able to work a full-time job from home while watching the baby full-time. Maybe. Am I crazy?

This potential job seems to cater to work-at-home parents. The CEO of the small company has three little ones at home and told me during our initial call (in November!) that the company leans toward work-life balance. Another man I interviewed with who has been with the company for 13 years, has four kids, and praised his ability to be a work-at-home dad. Although not everyone in the company is a parent, it does sound like families come first. If I take this job, I really think I could make it work with a home office and still watch my little girl grow up. (And I do want to add more babies to our family sooner than later, God willing!)

Even more uncertainty is added to this hypothetical life when I consider my husband’s situation. He’s being flown out to cities around the country to be interviewed for a potential big career advancement. His job interview in another state on Monday sounds particularly promising. We could be moving across the country in a month or two.

Moving locations won’t matter to my potential work-from-home employer, but it would mean less in-person business events and meetings for me. Where we live now is a hub for my industry. Where we’d potentially be moving to, my industry isn’t there. Everything I’d do would be online or would require business travel.

I am the kind of person who defines myself by my career: a scientist in the space industry. No, I take that back. I was defined by my love of my industry long before it became a career, as far back as 3rd grade when I wrote a short story about being an astronaut. My passion for what I do “for a living” goes beyond whether I’m paid for it, and some of my current projects are in fact volunteer or pro bono. I love, live, breath science/astro/space. Becoming a mom hasn’t changed that.

Even without this potential full-time position, I’d still continue building my consulting business, part-time. Even with this potential full-time position, I still want to build my consulting business part-time. I know, I sound crazy.

I’ll stick another tick-mark in the crazy box by admitting I might want to homeschool my kid(s) someday.

Too much speculation, too many hypotheticals, too much unknown. For now, I vent my thoughts on the Internet. Decisions will be made later.

Working mom and silly-faced baby at an industry event last month.

How I Work At Home with a 5-Month-Old

During the difficult earliest weeks of motherhood, I wrote a detailed schedule of what my day was like. Endless breastfeeding, short naps only while we held her, screaming fits, and precious little free time. It seemed the baby was constantly attached to me. Time just disappeared.

Now at 5 months old, she's a lot easier to care for. She's aware of the outside world and can independently play. She's not on my boob forever. Her naps are longer. We're better at communicating so she doesn't cry as much. I'm able to get a lot more done in the day as a work-at-home mother.

I kept track of my Monday to see where the time goes. Follow along with my day, if you'd like.

8:00 AM

The baby is awake for the day. My husband takes her to change her diaper while I slowly get up. We usually get up anywhere between 7:00 and 9:00, without an alarm, so this is an average day. Sometimes I awake before the baby and can get a little cleaning done before she arises.

With her in the bouncer chair, I straighten up a little. Time for another diaper change. I try to focus on one area of cleaning per day and today is a laundry focus, so I strip the bed.

My husband leaves for work. There are days when he works from home [such as today – Tuesday] which changes my schedule. I'm more likely to eat lunch out when he's home, for example. And there's also adult fun time when she naps.

I settle with the baby in my indoor office, also known as my sitting room couch. While nursing her, I catch up with email, social media, and industry-specific news. I read some of the news aloud to her. When not nursing, she plays in my lap or on the floor next to me.

10:00

The baby falls asleep while nursing. Her mid-morning naps occurs anywhere between 10:00 and 11:30. I successfully transfer her to the swing chair. I'm free! I shower, dress, and apply make-up.

The mid-morning naps usually last 15 to 30 minutes. Very unusually, this one lasts an hour. I take advantage of the extra time by starting laundry and straightening up a bit more. I'm rarely hungry in the mornings, but I ate a banana at 10:45. I prep dinner and start the slow cooker. I even prep my lunch sandwich before she awakes.

The biggest issue is preventing her from wacking the laptop keys!

11:00

I move us to my outdoor office, also known as the lounge chair on my back porch. While she nurses or plays, I work on my laptop. I set her up on the chair cushion in front of me or on a towel on the ground beside me. I completed my first work task of the day, then read some more industry news.

The cats have learned to stay out of reach of those tiny grabby hands.

11:40

The baby is getting antsy. We take a break to walk around the house, change her diaper, and start the next load of laundry.

11:50

With the baby playing on the ground, I get back to it and complete work task #2.

Who knew paper was so fun?

12:15

While my turkey, cheese, and cucumber melt is heating, I clean a bit more. The baby chills on the kitchen floor. I take lunch back outside and read more, this time paper: Sunday's church bulletin and a parenting magazine. The baby plays one of her favorite games: rip up the paper and try to eat it.

After I clean up from lunch, I make the bed with clean sheets.

12:45

Back to nursing the baby and back to work. I make a work-related phone call. While on hold, I carry the baby around the house and clean some more.

Hard to work with such a distracting cutie!

1:10

That task is done. Back to nursing and reading industry-related news. The baby plays in my lap and on the ground. I try to get more work done. But she is fussy. Nursing her only calms her temporarily while I work.

2:00

Back inside to change the scenery. I put away laundry while she's in her swinging chair in the bedroom with me. She can't decide whether she likes it or not.

2:15

Finally, she naps!

2:25

I get 5 minutes into a hands-on project. The baby screams. I leave that project for another day.

Back to nursing and working. I complete work task #3. The baby falls asleep in my lap and I don't dare try to move her.

I work, read news, write a blog entry for my industry-related blog, and catch up on social media. I read some fun blogs and articles. The baby wakes every so often, snuggles for more nursing, then falls right back to sleep.

4:50

The baby stirs, and I wake her. I've had to pee for the past hour. While up, I put in another load of laundry, walk the dog and get the mail, change her diaper, and move my stuff back inside the house.

No, we haven't baby-proofed the house yet. Obviously.

5:00

The baby plays on her mat next to my pole while I work out for 20 minutes: 15 minutes of pole fitness and 5 minutes of stretching and yoga. I don't bother to change clothes or get out my yoga mat because time is precious. Baby fusses so I pause for a few second every couple of minutes to give her another toy or distraction.

By this time, my husband is home from work. I catch up with him.

Hold the Door!

5:30

I settle on the living room couch and watch yesterday's episode of Game of Thrones with the baby playing or nursing on my lap. Wow, that's an emotional episode. I watched the Inside the Episode summary and give myself time to recover from that ending.

6:45

I relax with the baby for a little while on my laptop catching up with social media. My husband has gone out for a late afternoon run, so dinner will be later than usual.

7:00

I relocate us back to the bedroom, baby back in the swing, me back to putting away laundry while listening to an industry podcast. Another diaper change.

7:20

Back on the couch. I work for 10 minutes, then read the news and play with the baby.

7:50

My husband is home from his run so I prep for dinner (slow cooked pulled pork with celery and carrots) while he showers. We eat out a lot. Once or twice or thrice a week, we might spend our evenings at our local sports bar with our baby and our laptops. We sometimes spend our late afternoons at the beach until dusk. Even when we cook at home, we don't always eat at the dining room table. Today we did, with a candle in the middle and everything. The baby was content to be held while we ate.

8:30

After dinner clean-up, I'm back on the couch with the baby while my husband makes a quick trip to the store for something he wants. I browse social media while nursing the baby to sleep. I take advantage of her slumber and clip her long fingernails. I bathe her every-other-day, and this was an off day, or else a bath would have been in order.

9:00

My husband makes himself an adult beverage while I make myself a mint chocolate milkshake. We cuddle on the couch while watching an episode of Orange is the New Black. The baby wakes after a short while and cuddles with us on the couch. There's a pause for the last diaper change of the night.

10:15

My husband watches the last bit of a basketball game while I read on my laptop. The baby is not the slightest bit sleepy and is in a great mood, so we take turns playing with her. I try to nurse her to sleep, but she's wide awake. She's all smiles, giggles, and happy squeaks.

11:10

The baby is getting tired but refuses to sleep while nursing, so I put her in her swing. She seems happy to be rocking.

11:30

Finally asleep! I transfer her to her crib next to our bed. I stay up on my laptop until 12:30 AM when my husband joins me and it's lights out. But we stay up talking for a little while longer. I'll be awakened throughout the night to feed the little one, but never for very long.

Work-At-Home Mom Balance: Three Months On

I've been a work-at-home mom for approximately three months now. My biggest challenge by far, as I knew it would be, is balance. How do I, one individual, balance motherhood, work, household, and my personal time (lumping together “me” time, my husband, and my social life)? I could barely balance before I became a mother. Add to my life a helpless baby who depends on me nearly all day every day for survival and everything else that I couldn't quite fit in before gets pushed to the back of the line.

My Career

I'm working part time right now, a few hours per day. Someone recently asked me when I think I'll return to full-time work. The thought is so far from my mind, I can't even contemplate it. I'm trying to build a new scientific and technical consulting business from scratch which includes a large social media presence and writing a book. My company has one employee: me. At this point, I'm barely making any income. But every company starts somewhere, and a tiny income is still something. Not yet enough to give me a salary, but enough to cover expenses and get my name out there.

Last night, just before bed, I thought about what I could do to gain more clients. I formed a plan in my head and felt positive and empowered! The reality of this morning hit: I don't have enough time in my schedule to do everything I want to do for my work now, let alone sign another client. Plus I have a contract in negotiation which will bring in more work soon for me to fit in. I've been meaning to write a company report for weeks, even telling myself that this week was the week I'd get done. I'm now half way through Friday and I haven't even started it. I just haven't figured out the balance yet.

Household

I'm a clean freak. My husband looks at the house and thinks it's fine, but I look around and see filth and unfinished home projects. One of my dreams is to hire a regular (monthly?) cleaning service. But my husband doesn't think we can afford it right now. My daily must-dos are keeping the kitchen clean and keeping up with laundry. But the carpets smell like the dog and the bathrooms are so gross that I dislike using them. I can make time to vacuum one room, but not the house. I can make time to clean one toilet, but not the whole bathroom, and not even both toilets. Everywhere I look, I think, “I could get on top of cleaning that if only I had a solid block of time!”

Household also includes necessary adult duties like doctors appointments, handling bills and services, and other not-fun things that suck up time. My current in-the-middle-of-it time-suck is refinancing our home mortgage. I spent an hour handling it all yesterday, but haven't yet taken the time to actually upload the necessary documents. An entire morning can be spent handling these necessary tasks without me even realizing that the morning is disappearing.

Personal Time

When my husband comes home from work, all I want to do is relax and spend time with him. We're best friends and we rely on each other for sanity and happiness. Yes, I could hand the baby to my husband when he comes home and lock myself away to work or clean the house, but then we wouldn't have the pleasure of each other's company. And I value that more than I value work and chores.

I have a good group of friends who I try to hang out with once or twice per week. Sometimes, like this week, it just doesn't happen because I'm too worn out playing catch-up after our mini vacation. I value my friendships and my time to get out of the house and appreciate others. I'm an extrovert and a people-person. I enjoy adventure and experiences. I have to be true to myself, whatever is going on in my world.

“Me” time is what I sacrifice the most. A few weeks ago I actually spent a few hours straight on a Saturday reading a book. I don't know the last time I had done that previously, and I haven't done that since. I got so worn out yesterday afternoon, I called it quits at exactly 5:00 so I could sit by myself (with my baby) and watch the Game of Thrones episode that previously I would have watched immediately and not waited days. My normally well shaped fingernails and painted toenails have been recently been neglected so badly that I'm now making a conscious effort to care for them. And exercise to actually lose this baby weight – ugh. If I hadn't set a goal of 5 minutes each day last week, I wouldn't have done it. And because I didn't set an exercise goal this week, I haven't done a thing. And forget shopping!

Motherhood

Although my baby takes up a huge amount of my time and effort now, she has been the most welcome distraction. I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mom, but now that I have her, I see the appeal. Spending my days with her is what I look forward to the most each morning. She brings me joy and love greater and deeper than anything else, greater and deeper than I previously thought possible.

She's four months now, old enough to be put in daycare while I work or clean or do what I need to do. But I don't want to. I love seeing her day in and day out. I love experiencing life with her. This morning, she gave me a series of huge grins as I put her down so I could shower. It was so difficult for me to pry myself away from her beautiful smiling face in order to take care of basic personal hygiene. As the Aerosmith song goes, I don't want to miss a thing.

An "Unmentionable" Benefit to being a WAHM

This isn’t one of those types of blogs. But it isn’t a family blog, either. I’m an adult with adult issues; no use labeling them as taboo.

One amazing benefit of being a SAHM/WAHM is that when my husband also works from home for the day, we can spend time together. We chat, we sometimes go out for lunch, and sometimes we can be intimate.

My husband doesn’t work from home regularly, maybe once a week if he feels like it and if his work schedule allows. Today isn’t a full day of working from home, just the morning, which worked well for us. He has an ideal time to “get busy” – mid to late morning. This usually means our martial activities occur on weekends. However, if we’re together during a weekday morning, we take the chance.

During our child-free days, we only had to consider what worked well for us. Now, we have a third person to consider. She usually does nap in the mid to late morning, but on top of me. Transferring her to another surface to sleep during a light nap is difficult, sometimes impossible. Sometimes she’ll stay asleep when I move her, but more likely she’ll wake up and immediately want to be held again.

This morning was a close call. She drifted off to sleep in my arms, light catnaps that she would fall into and wake from just as easily and suddenly. When it appeared to me that she was in deep enough sleep, I slowly transferred her to the swinging chair, one of her favorite places to sleep. She stirred, then closed her eyes again and the nap continued. My husband and I breathed a sigh of relief.

That lasted less than a minute. We had only just begun when I heard the movement of a blanket and saw that she was wide awake once more. But she wasn’t complaining, so we went for it. And success! Just in time, too.

There were days when we’d cuddle in bed after, not wanting or needing to move from each other’s arms. Not these days, not usually. I had just enough time to savor the aftermath before needing to calm an increasingly vocal baby who had spent enough time entertaining herself. It won’t always be like this, I know. Someday, we’ll have a mobile and talking child to sneak distract!

Despite the challenges, mid-day mid-week sex is a great benefit to being a WAHM.

A WAHM's Version of Hump Day

One of the best things about being a WAHM? I can make my own schedule. It was a light work day for both my husband and me. So, in the middle of a Wednesday, we went out to lunch and a quick stop on the beach. This is living!

Glorious Mornings

I think mornings are my favorite part of being a WAHM. I am not a morning person. Never have been. Setting alarms and waking up at the crack of dawn (or before dawn!) was a miserable existence for me. No matter how much sleep I got, I never felt rested when a noise woke me from my sleep and forced me from my bed every morning.

Being a WAHM, I wake up naturally and feel rested! You heard that right: I have a 3-month-old and I feel rested. I know how fortunate I am to have a baby that enjoys sleeping at night as much as I do. She and I wake up a few times over the course of the night to nurse, but it’s usually not for long and we fall right back to sleep. Unless I have an early morning appointment, we can get up when we please. On a good morning, that’s around 7:00 or 7:30. If it’s following a night like last night that was a bit rough, it’s closer to 8:30. But that’s okay: I have no morning commute and no boss or company policy telling me when I have to begin working!

Almost every morning, I’m given the gift of being able to watch my baby wake up. She catnaps in the morning, drifting in and out of dreaming and awaking. I stare at her in wonder and love. When she finally wakes enough to notice my face, her whole face brightens up and she smiles. She is so happy to see me and I'm so happy to spend another day with her! All is well in her world and in mine.

First thing’s first: a new diaper. I kiss my husband goodbye if he’s off to the office. I tidy up the kitchen. I sit down on the couch leisurely to catch up on email and news. Before I know it, it’s 10:00 and I haven’t showered or dressed yet. And that’s okay. I’m a WAHM, my baby is happy, and my schedule is mostly my own.

And just as I was finishing writing this and ready to post it, we had a poop explosion which prompted an emergency baby bath and couch cushion laundry load. Good thing I hadn’t showered yet. Ah, the life of a mother.