In my months of
silence on this blog, I've moved out of state again, and am preparing
to move once again. Once again, I'm in temporary housing, this time a
two-bedroom apartment. We move into our new home in a couple of
weeks. In the meantime, I've been struggling to work from home in an
enclosed area with an energetic toddler who loves to climb on and off
the couch and babble loudly in her foreign-sounding language.
My work assignment
involves a lot of phone interviews these days. I set a time with one
or two other people on the call and I ask questions and take notes.
Sometimes I can mute myself during the conversation, but never for
long. I need to be present to the other person on the line. I need to
be focused. I need to hear, and I need to be heard.
An excited talkative
toddler shrieking and telling stories in her own language in the
background is not helpful during my calls. Naptime is an ideal time
to take a business call, but naptime doesn't always correspond to my
call schedule. Last week, one call was scheduled for 11:00. Sometimes
I can keep my toddler awake in the mornings so she'll sleep sounding
during a late morning nap. But on this particular morning, despite my
stimulating efforts, she fell asleep at 10:00 and was up playing at
11:00.
During that same
day, I had another call scheduled for 2:30. Toddler fell asleep at
2:15. Perfect! Fifteen minutes into her nap was plenty of time for
her to fall deep into sleep and not wake for my business call. Slowly
and silently I distanced myself from her so my voice wouldn't wake
her. I wandered into the next room, proud of myself. But the minute
my call started, I peeked in and noticed her stirring and sitting up.
Then she screamed as loud as death! There was an awkward pause on the
other line and I knew I had been busted.
I previously wrote
some tips on how to combat noisy baby background noise. As she
outgrows many things, my toddler has outgrown these tips. Food and
new toys no longer silences her as they used to. Naps are no longer a
guarantee of quiet time. Nursing is too short to promise quiet for
long.
Distancing myself
has been the biggest failure of a tip as my toddler has developed
separation anxiety. In this temporary apartment, I don't have many
places I can work. When I absolutely need quiet, I hide in the spare
bedroom. There are two layers of boundaries between me and her there:
the living room/hallway baby gate and the bedroom door. I mute my
phone to return to the living room to check on her, then return to
the quiet sanctuary to talk again. But every time I run away from her
sight, she throws a fit. Leaving the room even for a moment seems to
be the ultimate abandonment in her eyes.
What's a working mom
to do? I've gathered some suggestions I hope to try this coming week
when I return to the phone. They are:
- Use the TV babysitter. My husband and I have noticed that when we watch TV, she'll watch with us. She's sometimes captivated by it. In moments of desperation, I don't care about limiting screen time. I do what I have to do.
- Distraction bags. This is an evolution of my distracting toy concept. Instead of just one toy, I distract her with a new activity or bag of toys. I probably need to wait until we move into our new home to have the room to handle distraction toys that I can store for when I'm not on the phone.
- Find childcare. This has been on my list of things to do for months but we keep moving. In two weeks, we'll finally be settled into a new home for good, and I'll look into an occasional babysitter or drop-in daycare.
That's all the tips
I have so far. More would be appreciated! I'll let you know how it
goes.
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