Slave to the Phone as a Work-At-Home Mom

A quick vent about my current work-at-home mom frustration: spontaneous business phone calls.

Usually I schedule business calls. I had a scheduled one-on-one call and a scheduled conference call yesterday. During the times I know I need to be on a call, I can step away to where I know there will be minimal background noise and distraction.

Sometimes I step out of the room for a few minutes, leaving my toddler in the fully baby-proof living room. Sometimes I bring my toddler out in the backyard with me and let her run around while I sit on the (mostly) quiet patio. Either way, I’m prepared.

Spontaneous calls are more challenging. I need to stop whatever I’m doing to prepare myself and my environment for a professional call in a matter of seconds between the phone ringing and the call going to voicemail.

I’m not one of those moms who limits screen time. At all. I recognize the world is full of screens and I intend to raise my kids with the knowledge of how to live in a world of technology integration and saturation. Plus my toddler loves her cartoons and the associated music. Sometimes she watches, sometimes she dances, sometimes she ignores it and focuses on playing. But the TV is almost always on providing background noise I've learned to turn out as I work. I have no guilt about this whatsoever.

And sometimes my kid has fun turning the TV off and on, off and on, off and on, and she’s doing right now.

In the rare times the TV is off, usually I have music playing in the background as I work. Or I'm listening to a industry event such as a livestreamed conference, podcast, or lecture. Rarely is it quiet at home during business hours.

Whenever the phone rings and I don’t want cartoon or really any noises in the background of my professional business call. I need to put some distance between myself and the TV. Usually this just means going to the back of the room around the corner. Sometimes it means stepping out into the backyard and hoping the neighbors’ dogs aren't barking too much. Sometimes I’m very lucky and am already away from the TV when the phone rings, such as in the kitchen or changing out loads of laundry.

Most of the time I’m working, I’m sitting on the couch in the living room with the TV on, my toddler playing, and my laptop in front of me. When the phone rings, I need to close and secure my laptop. Long ago my kid learned how to open my laptop lid and mess with the keys and touch screen. Often she’ll put her whole weight on the expensive electronic device, even dancing on it. Her abuse contributed to the decline of my last laptop and the death of my current laptop’s original power cord.

When I need to step away, I’ve learned that it’s not enough to shut the laptop lid. I must also hide the laptop in between the couch cushions, deep under the couch, or move it to a table that she can’t reach. She is continuously learning how to pull out my laptop from between or under the couch, so I need to take more care as of late.

Phone signal in and around my house is poor. I've enabled wifi calling to assist in acquiring signal, but the wifi range doesn't extend throughout the house or very far in the yard. The staircase is a dead zone. I know this. Yet today I tried to answer a phone call on the way to the kitchen while at the base of the stairs and was not at all surprised I couldn't hear the caller and had to call him back. I should have learned by now.

To summarize, when the phone rings unexpectedly and I suspect it’s a business call, most of the time I need to:

1) Immediately stop whatever I’m doing.

2) Close and secure my laptop where my toddler can’t get it.

3) Ensure my toddler is in a safe environment for me to step away for a short while.

4) Move to a quieter area where I can still get wifi signal.

All before the call goes to voicemail!

I've been helping a client with a Monday deadline. He’s an oral communicator. In addition to many emails, he called twice per day every day last week. I was so excited when Monday came and went! He only called once on Monday. But it’s now Tuesday and he has called three times four times today! I don’t bill him for my time on these calls, either. It's a hassle, but I want to keep the client happy.

Such is the life of a work-at-home mom with a toddler. And it’ll get harder when baby #2 is born!

Financial Troubles of a Work-At-Home Mom

My husband and I are struggling right now financially. It seems each week brings with it a new financial crises complete with more debt and feelings of hopelessness that we’ll ever catch up with bills.

We’ve dealt with many challenges over the past 15 months. We’ve completed four expensive moves across the country. We bought and sold houses. We’ve had emergency car bills, emergency home repair bills, and emergency medical bills. We’re down to one car because my husband’s car needs extensive repairs we can’t afford. We just prepaid a lump sum of $4,500 for prenatal care and birth at the birth center outside of insurance to save money overall. Yesterday we got notice our mortgage payments are increasing a non-trivial amount each month. And we have a newborn on the way.

The work-at-home mom guilt is crushing me with each new big bill. Many who work-at-home or work remotely make full-time income or enough to live comfortably. I’m not there yet. The company I started isn’t even two years old yet. Although I bring in a little to contribute to the family finances, it doesn’t feel like enough. Not nearly enough!

After graduate school in a science field, I made very good money in my first full-time job. On paper, I made excellent money in my second full-time job. In reality, that company failed to make payroll repeatedly and then went bankrupt, so they owe me half a year’s salary that I’ll never see. But I know how much I’m worth if I were to put myself on the market. I know what full-time salary a highly educated mid-career employee in my technical field should expect.

In reality, I make as much now as I did as a first year graduate student. It’s not nothing. It’s pretty impressive considering I started the company from scratch immediately after my now-toddler was born. I wasn’t sure if I’d make any money at all, but I have. I succeeded. But it feels like a drop in the bucket.

My previous company’s financial troubles started right after my husband and I were married. For our whole marriage, he has been the primary earner without knowing beforehand he would take on that role. He’s a hard worker with a great job, but he has no desire to always be the main breadwinner as some men do. He works in the financial industry. His goal is to maximize his large income now so we can have enough for him to retire early. It frustrates both of us that he continues to work hard with a good income and yet our family finances keep getting tighter with depleted liquid savings and seemingly-never-shrinking debts. It stresses him out especially.

But he has never once pressured me about my earnings. He has been so supportive during the entire process of me forming my own company and trying to make it as a freelancer/entrepreneur. He regularly tells me how proud he is of me gaining clients and bringing in money. The pressure I feel is of my own making.

I feel guilty spending money on most anything these days, even larger-than-expected grocery bills. I buy new clothes and items for myself so infrequently. I could use more maternity outfits, especially warmer clothes for the colder weather, but I won’t spend the money. Even buying items for our toddler and upcoming new baby is difficult for me. I’ve been limiting myself to consignment sales for most kid items such as clothes and toys. I haven’t yet “splurged” on the crib mattress we need for the newborn. Every dollar I spend reminds me that I barely contribute to the family checking account.

I try not to be too hard on myself. My company is slowly growing. I have more active clients now than I’ve ever had. I’ll keep building it over time. God willing, I’ll bring in more and more income each year.

There are financial benefits to being a work-at-home mom. Very rarely do we ever pay for daycare. In my area, this saves us $7,000 - $10,000 per year. And with the new baby coming, that cost would be even higher: $14,000 - $17,000 per year. I don’t have to commute to work, so we save on gas and we’re able to share one car. I don’t eat out when I’m home alone with my toddler. I wear professional clothing and shoes less often, so they wear out less frequently. There are non-financial benefits, too – so many!

At this stage, I know I’d net more money and we’d be better off financially if I were to give up on my own company and work for someone else outside the home. The financial benefits of outside work outweigh the savings of working at home, for now. But it may not always be this way. I charge an impressive hourly rate for my services, so in theory, if I increased my billable hours enough and made more with passive income (sales of the book I’m writing, for example), I should come out ahead. But who knows when or if that will ever happen.

Supporting me as a work-at-home mom is a sacrifice and a chance we as a family take. I’ve done my fair share of complaining about finances and wondering aloud if I should look for a job. Not once has my husband thought that was a good idea. He believes in me and my company, and so do I.

Being a work-at-home mom isn’t easy. It’s a struggle. It’s a financial sacrifice for us. But we choose to believe it’s worth it. Beyond money, it certainly is worth it!